Mazel! You’ve said yes to the key/lease/cohabitation. Break out the bubbly and toast to your new life together. But, hold off on the low-key housewarming get-together: Moving in with your S.O. is more than Pinterest boards and Iceland dinner parties.
Trust me; I’ve done it twice and had to undo it once. The first time I moved in with a partner, I was 23, and we’d only been together (long distance!) for six months. We lasted three years until we decided to part ways (and apartments). The second time I was 28 and in a solid relationship for two years. I’d love to tell you how much easier it was the second time — being older, wiser, and more experienced — but that’s just not the case. Merging two adult lives is never seamless, no matter how much the two love each other.
Take note from someone who has cohabitated in three apartments, in two states, with one dog and two cats (not at the same time), and survived a breakup that involved splitting all the stuff in the apartment via sticky notes.
While moving in together might not mean you’ve agreed to forever, you’re definitely in it for the long haul — or until the lease is up. And it’s a big deal, whether you’re cohabiting purely for convenience, making a financially prudent decision, or testing the waters of lifelong partnership.
No matter how much I potentially scared you, living with someone you love does create incredible closeness that can never be fully articulated outside your four walls. It’s a next-level experience to make inside jokes with your best friend every day, fall asleep (watching The Americans) together every night, and knowing you’ve got a constant companion to make sure you don’t die during a home invasion.