10 Lessons I’ve Learned While Investigating Love

When it comes to love, we tend to cling to clichés. We are told 'nobody will love you until you’ve learned to love yourself' and that when you meet the right person 'you’ll just know’. One of the biggest challenges we face, I think, is to sift through these clichés, unpick the stories we have been told, and cut to the heart of what love really means to each of us.

That's why I decided to begin investigating love, one interview at a time, via a newsletter called Conversations on Love. The aim? To explore the many different shapes that love takes in our lives – not only the romantic kind, but the love between parents and children, siblings, strangers and friends. And even the love we feel for ourselves.

Along the way I’ve spoken to some of our greatest thinkers and writers about the topic: philosopher Alain de Botton (on the perils of romanticism), Man Booker-winning novelist Hilary Mantel (on first love) and New York University ‘love professor’ Dr. Megan Poe (on retaining your sense of self in a relationship). These conversations, among others, have taught me so many valuable lessons that have changed the way I view and approach love. Here are 10 of them…