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The phrase, "You up?" has a way of taking a text message conversation from flirty to frustrating — fast. But sometimes, when you need to get across that, yes, you would like to have sex with that person in the very immediate future, asking if they're up is a simple way to do it.
But people tend to have a strong reaction to this cliché booty call ask because it can feel selfish in nature, explains Samantha Burns, LMHC, a millennial-relationship expert. "[It's] like the pursuer doesn't want to put in the effort to cultivate an emotional connection, and cares more about gratifying his or her own sexual needs," Burns says.
Receiving a booty call text can seem objectifying in a way, because it comes across like you're not a priority in the caller's life, Burns says. "Otherwise, you would have been their main plans instead of an afterthought," she adds. And if you and the person you're texting with haven't established that late-night sex summons fit the terms of your relationship, then it can be extra off-putting, she says.
That said, if booty calls are in your relationship description, and you want to send a transparent yet smooth text asking for a hookup, there are a few ways to do so. Ahead find messages you can text (or DM, or email, or Snapchat, send via carrier pigeon, or say outloud) that will expertly get the point across.
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