It’s long been said that only cockroaches can survive an atomic bomb. But I’d like to add one more gross survivor to the list: Justin Bieber’s hotel slippers.
In the month of July, Bieber has been seen wearing a pair of white hotel slippers at a restaurant, in a parking lot, on the beach, and on the streets of New York City. They’ve accompanied the singer from the Hamptons to Manhattan. They've survived a car breaking down, a beach picnic, and the piss-filled streets of the Big Apple. Not only that, but they are still magically white which makes me believe that he has an entire suitcase that contains just rows of these nondescript white hotel slippers (which I think I just found on Amazon.com?). These slippers are for the commute from the bathtub to the bed, not the West Village to SoHo.
Hailey Baldwin, his ex turned church friend turned current girlfriend, has remained faithfully by his side, seemingly unfazed by his audacity to continue wearing this fucking slippers in public. But wait, there's more. This is not his first time pulling this "be rich, look poor" Andy Warhol move. No, last year he spent his summer wearing hotel slippers all over Beverly Hills. GQ tried to tell the singer that hotel slippers are not the same thing as summer slides, but alas, one year later and same crime is being committed.
My feelings on the matter can best be summarised by the chorus of "Summer Games," by Drake: "Breakin' my heart – breakin' my heart – breakin' my heart —
Breakin' my heart – breakin' my heart/
Brea– Brea– Brea– Brea– Brea– Brea– Brea– Brea- Brea..."
Breakin' my heart – breakin' my heart/
Brea– Brea– Brea– Brea– Brea– Brea– Brea– Brea- Brea..."