Hey Pete Davidson, What’s In Your Bag?

Photo: Robert O'neil/SplashNews
Say what you will about Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson’s sudden engagement, but one thing is for sure: We love someone who wholly loves their person. Every time we see this couple in photographs, we can’t help but notice how smitten they are. We also can’t keep our eyes off SNL comic Davidson’s (incorrectly worn!) bum bag. (Grande doesn’t seem to mind, so who are we to judge?) We think this means little bags are making a comeback (or a start?) for men. What’s next? The Dior Saddle bag for boys?
Below, we imagine what the taller half of the betrothed couple carries around in his trendy little bag.
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An Orange
“Grandson,” what fans affectionately call the couple, keeps a bowl of oranges in their fancy new building in New York City (it also features a wellness floor and an IMAX), and Davidson makes a habit of popping one into his bag, just in case his pop star fiancee gets hungry — which should put a stop to her licking donuts in public. But if the urge strikes…
A Pack Of Tissues
Grande has been known to lick a doughnut or two, and should this happen again, part of Davidson’s duties as her hubby-to-be is to clean off any residue from a sullied doughnut and/or remove the ones she touched and set them aside on a tissue.
Trojan Magnums
The “Side to Side” singer has bragged that her man is well-endowed, which leaves us to believe the couple is having sex — and a lot of it, explaining why Davidson is always wearing a pair of “appointment” sweats.
Snap On Clips
Our girl loves wearing snap on clips with her long extensions. Realising this, her doting dude carries a spare set, should she ever need.
A Brush
Heavy is the head that wears such an extensive ponytail. Luckily for Grande, Davidson carries a brush to make sure her ‘do is ‘gramable from all angles.
Lollipops
Grande likes her snacks, and appears to have a considerable sweet tooth. After (we imagine) she smacks the orange out of Davidson’s hand, he reaches inside his bum bag for another sucker for his baby.
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Boy Brow
While Davidson loves his precious angel so much, he has cosmetic wants and needs, too, and requires a little somethin’ somethin’ to get through the day: Boy Brow. His brows need to be on point for all of those paparazzi pictures.
A Book Of Stencils For All Of His Future Ariana Grande Tattoos
This comedian will not be happy until he has covered his entire body with tattoos celebrating his lover. That sort of dedication means he must always be thinking of the next piece to honour his love in ink.
Spare Cat Ears
What happens when your lady love loves wearing cat ears? Well, you carry around a back up pair just in case the Louis Vuitton ones she’s sporting currently don’t match the hoodie she’s wearing as a dress (lampshading). Wow, a man.
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