There are many reasons to want to be more like Lorde — smart, funny, good at dancing — but I never thought New Zealand would be one of them (no offence to New Zealand). However, in an interview with Billboard, Lorde (real name Ella Yelich-O’Connor) answered questions from her home down under, and with just a few casual anecdotes, immediately convinced me that my soul belongs in New Zealand, which Billboard points out has a sheep-to-human ratio of 7-to-1 (excellent). My heart will not rest until I am there with her baking pie.
Here are the five quotes that have convinced me to buy a one-way ticket.
1. "There is a lot of green around us," she told interviewer Brooke Mazurek over Skype. This included a garden of fennel she says is "tall enough to lead an army." In my home in New York, I have zero fennel, and if I ever did, it could lead an amateur skirmish at best.
2. "The getaway nature of it is very real – I always feel very unmoored from America when I’m here. I’ll get a work email, and I just laugh at how absurd it feels." I have never once laughed at a work email, but I'd love to someday!
3. "My main concern right now is what the tide is doing." Once again, I cannot say the same. My main concern would have to be my UTI, something I'm sure I'll never get again once I move to New Zealand.
4. "Yesterday, I made this lime cheesecake with Swiss meringue on top – I spent a couple of hours trying to get that right. My life is really quiet." Do I even need to add commentary to this one? Of course I'd love to spend a couple hours perfecting the Swiss meringue atop my homemade lime cheesecake.
5. "I have a big Irish family, so we do a big family thing in our garden. It’s often 50 people, it’s summer, people are in the pool. I’ll be making a lot of desserts. We’re in New Zealand, so you might eat an oyster – it’s very incongruous with what people think of as Christmas. I have a very vivid memory of the Christmas before last. Some of my cousins are Mexican and brought some great tequila back with them; I had two hands in the sink washing pots and one of my cousins was just pouring a shot of tequila into my mouth. So that’s Christmas at our house." I think you mean yours and my house, Lorde. My bags are packed.