Mariah Carey Is Sick, So It Looks Like Christmas Is Cancelled This Year

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Bad news, holiday music lovers: Queen of Cheer Mariah Carey has come down with an untimely respiratory infection and has been forced to cancel some of her upcoming Christmas-themed shows, according to People.
We might as well just pack up the trees and lights and call it a year, because everyone knows the holiday season can't officially begin until Carey's incredible range breaks the sound barrier as she sings "All I Want For Christmas Is You." But, being the benevolent angel she is, Carey broke the news to fans gently via a statement on Twitter.
"Lambs! Just in time for the holiday gift-giving season, it seems I've received a present of my own; a lovely upper respiratory infection after last week's flu," she wrote. Mother Christmas continued to state that while "there is nothing I love more than celebrating the holidays with my festive Christmas show," she has to obey her doctor and heal before donning a glittery jumpsuit and getting back on stage.
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For now, she says the "first several shows" of her tour, which was set to begin this week, have been axed.
Do you hear what I hear? No, it's not a little drummer boy, Mariah. It's the sound of hearts breaking and elves crying everywhere.
If you listen closely enough, you can also hear the sound of Gwen Stefani slowly decking out her sleigh, which is obviously all plaid and lined with metal studs, in preparation of becoming Carey's Christmas replacement. She literally already told Entertainment Tonight, "I want to be Mariah Carey," while promoting her new holiday album, You Make Me Feel Like Christmas! And, if Stefani goes down? Well, then it's Sia's turn, baby.
Carey's health, of course, is a priority. I'm sure that implying otherwise has landed me on the Naughty List, but my point is this: The world of holiday music is cutthroat. If you wanna be the Top Elf, you'd better act fast. Here's hoping for a speedy recovery.
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