Have You Noticed This About Jon Snow's Seduction Technique?

In a cave somewhere on Dragonstone, Jon Snow and Daenerys Targaryen looked deeply into one another’s eyes. According to the unwritten rules of TV land, that can only mean one thing. A gaze that lasts more than a second inevitably implies that the coals of sexual attraction are turning orange at the edges; the launcher on the pinball machine of love is pulled to full tautness; the rusty gears of large Westerosi political manoeuvrings are groaning to life.

Theoretically, Jon and Dany's connection might’ve come about through a mutual acknowledgement of the threats facing Westeros, a respect for each other’s capabilities as leaders, and the simple fact that they seem like each other’s faces.

Anther possibility? This burgeoning relationship didn’t blossom organically as you romantics might’ve hoped. What if Jon Snow, the lowly King of the North, premeditated this spark of sexual attraction with Daenerys Stormborn, Mother of Dragons, using his apparent tired-and-true method of seduction: Bringing women to caves?

As an ostracised bastard in Winterfell, Jon Snow never had the opportunity to try out the hay in the barns with local Northerners. After he joined the Night’s Watch, Jon extinguished any possibility of adolescent pre-Winter summer flings. Essentially, he consigned himself to remaining a "maid," as he called it.

Then, Jon Snow met Ygritte, a wildling. At the time, Jon Snow was entirely unaware of the effects his thick mane and constant pucker of confused determination had on women. Like a boy who becomes attractive the summer between high school and college, sexual prowess settled on Jon Snow’s shoulders the moment he put on that Night’s Watch fur mantle — he just didn’t know it yet. Ygritte’s mantra, “You know nothing, Jon Snow,” definitely didn’t just refer to the ways of wildings or the growing White Walker army.

Unfortunately, Jon Snow and Ygritte’s flirtation was bound by war and unfortunate weather circumstances. In medieval Westeros, a couple can't escape to a Super8 motel for an hour, or hide out in a parents’ basements, anxiously anticipating the sound of the front door opening. Lovers have few options — and even fewer north of the wall.

Knowing more than Jon Snow (who, remember, knew nothing at the time), Ygritte brought Jon Snow to a cave for his first sexual encounter.

Near the blazing hearth of the cave, Jon Snow was ushered into the world of carnal pleasure. In a move that would make Bachelor producers proud, Jon and Ygritte’s experience was capped off with a make out session in the cave’s conveniently located natural hot tub. Following this incident, the association between caves and women seemed forever cemented in his mind.

As goes with all first loves, Jon Snow emerged from his time with Ygritte with a hefty load of psychological baggage, and a new conception of the way things should be done in relationships. For Jon Snow, that appears to mean associating love with caves. We don’t blame him, either. Caves boast the virtues of extremely flattering lighting, privacy from the wars raging outside, and hot tubs. They feel secluded from the problems of the real world.

Flash forward to the present day — who knows how much time has passed, since this is Game of Thrones. Having already broken all the rules of the Night’s Watch, including sleeping with women, and some of the rules of physics, like coming back from the dead, Jon Snow is bumbling no longer.

Now tasked with the responsibility of saving the world from an incoming White Walker invasion, Jon Snow has turned to Daenerys and her fire-breathing dragons for help.

From his past experiences with Ygritte, Jon Snow knows his powers are most potent among stalagmites and stalactites. That’s what leads me to believe that Jon Snow deliberately forged this breakthrough moment with Daenerys. He snuck down into the cave with chalk. He drew rudimentary spirals and stick figures that looked like White Walkers, and practiced his largely expositional speech about the Children of the Forest with Ser Davos. (Twitter agrees.)

Then, after heightening the mood with proof that his theories were not the ravings of a lunatic but rather the ravings of a fully rational King, Jon Snow pulled a move right out of Ygritte’s playbook. Like a girl fidgeting with her keys at the end of the date, Jon paused at the front of the cave and made deliberate eye contact.

In Jon Snow's mind, where there is a subterranean shelter, there is attraction. Where there is attraction, Daenerys is far more likely to become invested — or, at least, curious – in a proposition.

So, thanks to Ygritte's lessons, Jon Snow knows something about caves and social maneuvering, and perhaps could convince Daenerys to give his fight against White Walkers a chance.

P.S. Of course, all of this would be plausible if we were talking about Tyrion or Littlefinger or anyone with a streak of manipulative tendencies in their characters. Ever-earnest, Jon Snow lacks that streak entirely. He probably just like caves.