Once a guy's admitted to masturbating into a Mason jar while driving, all bets are off. It's not exactly shocking, then, that a seemingly innocent and adorable photo of Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell's early moments as a couple would have a rather gnarly backstory.
Shepard treated his Instagram followers to a throwback pic of him and Bell nine years ago, before marriage and babies and Settlers of Catan. The Frozen actress is rocking overalls and sitting on her man's lap. Shepard pouts as he gazes up at the camera. Oh, wait...
The CHiPS star let fans in on a little secret.
"And unfortunately that bottom lip isn't from injections, it's Shoal," he admitted in the caption, referencing the chewing tobacco brand. "That's right, I landed @kristenanniebell while in the throes of a nasty dip habit. Thanks for being an optimist, honey."
And there goes our gag reflex. Please tell us that Diet Coke can in the background wasn't his impromptu spittoon.