Carlen Costa, PhD, is one of Canada's leading sexologists and relationship experts. A sex-positive feminist, sushi fanatic, and opinionated Beyhive booty-shaker, she encourages us to invite and accept pleasure into our lives. Dr. Carlen is all about real sex for real people, and she aims to make the topic a part of our everyday conversations.
This article was originally published on January 26, 2016.
Are you satisfied with your sex life? As a sex-positive, intersectional feminist and sexologist, I hate hearing that people aren't having great sex or aren't experiencing enough full-bodied pleasure in the act. We deserve to have regular orgasms. Although many of us are still learning, debating, and practicing (the best part), what's essential is understanding that we are all capable of experiencing orgasm in a variety of different ways.
Cue Nicki Minaj. Her Minajesty memorably announced
“I demand that I climax” and that every woman should demand the same. She goes on to say that giving and receiving pleasure should be 50/50. Whatever 50/50 looks like to you in any given sexual encounter or experience, that's up to you and your partner to negotiate before, during, and after.
Seriously friends: Your body is capable of some of the most intense, satisfying, and healing energy-producing force. An admirable sex expert Lou Paget
says that vagina-bearers can experience 10 different types of orgasms, while penis-bearers can have eight. But, I think there are 12.
Betty Dodson, the Godmother of Orgasms, has some of the best tips and advice about climaxing. Dodson speaks to the experience of the orgasm via the lens of what it feels like — not just the mechanics of what makes it happen. She says
“clitoral and penile orgasms result from stimulation of the pudendal pathway, while orgasms that result from G spot, vaginal, and rectal stimulation often involve the pelvic nerve. Stimulating the pelvic nerve, via the rectum, can also lead to pleasure in some surprising ways.”
From healing migraines and relieving stress to soothing pain, boosting your immune system, and giving your body an effective workout, orgasms really are a cure-all.
So, let’s take a look at 12 types of orgasms — and how you can achieve them.