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In this position, the receiver stands as the giver kneels or sits below them and performs oral sex.
“Standing helps a person feel sexy and powerful,” says Dr. Castellanos, adding that “letting your partner kiss and caress your whole body up and down” as you stand can make the experience even sexier.
It’s so true — if I’m giving a blowjob in this position, I love having both of my hands free to wrap around my partner’s thighs or reach up and grab at his chest. Even though we aren’t face-to-face, this can be an incredibly sensual pose.
As the receiver of this position, I also love the beautiful aerial view of my partner’s face buried in my crotch. Pro tip: The receiver can lean against a wall if standing for long periods of time causes discomfort.
Ah, one of my favorite poses for tight spaces — the Candle is essentially spooning, or getting fucked from behind, while standing. In this position, the receiver can tighten or loosen how tightly they’re keeping their thighs together in order to control the sensation.
Additionally, the receiver can lean into a wall for added support — I personally find it incredibly arousing to be confined and smooshed up against a wall, especially in a small shower.
During my research, I found that this pose seemed to be among the most popular. Dr. Britton says that this could be because it “allows you to have your hands free to kiss and caress your partner’s back and neck.” It’s also a relatively simple position, and allows both partners to be completely upright — not just the giver.
“It’s more of a cardiovascular workout, and you can have more control over how your body moves with your partner, leading to more pleasure and sensation,” notes Shannon Chavez, MD, a licensed psychologist and sex therapist based in L.A.
Trust me, there’s nothing narcissistic about this pose — it truly is advantageous for both partners. This variation of the Candle pose allows both partners to face the same direction, and if you’re in the bathroom or another room with a mirror, you can watch yourselves. The giver stands behind the receiver and holds one of the receiver’s legs (or alternatively, the receiver can prop their leg up on a chair or set of stairs).
If you’re the giver, you’ll have the ability to control the pace and rhythm by holding onto their body. As the receiver, you’ll have greater control over the angle of penetration, allowing you to receive as much G-spot/prostate stimulation as you desire.
“This position works well for toys, because it allows access to reaching your partner both from in front and behind, permitting great stimulation from any angle,” says Dr. Castellanos.
Pairing this pose with an external vibrator or masturbation sleeve will take the stimulation to a whole new level.
This position is essentially the face-to-face version of Narcissus, or a vertical variation of the beloved missionary position (admittedly one of my all-time faves). The giver holds one of the receiver’s legs, or the leg can be propped up on a chair. This intimate, penetrative position’s greatest challenge is accommodating height differences, so don’t be afraid to wear heels or utilise stairs if you are the shorter partner.
Having your bodies in alignment allows you to watch your partner’s face and kiss and caress their body.
This position can also make it easier to thrust for a longer period of time, which can be more difficult as the top partner with gravity working against you. “Without having to hold up your weight, you can focus more on sensations, feel more relaxed in your body, and have less tension and stress in your muscles,” Dr. Chavez adds.
In the most athletic position on this list, partners begin face to face, and the receiver is lifted off the ground by the giver. The receiver uses their arms and legs to wrap around the giver and hold them tight, and both partners use their arms and hips to grind into each other. This one is sure to get you hot and sweaty.
“This is an intensely erotic position, but does require a significant amount of strength,” says Dr. Castellanos. “You can replicate some great movie sex.”