"Most People Carry Some Sense Of Sexual Shame": Meet The Women Behind Guys We F***ed

Photo: Dustin Cohen
Last month, as more than 600 Women’s Marches stormed the globe in what may be the largest demonstration in US history, we were reminded that feminism continues to play out on a huge battlefield. But in among the anger and the pain, there is humour. From the "Free Melania" placards to tweets about Donald Trump’s tiny, tiny hands, this momentous show of unity was also a reminder that feminists can be funny as hell.

Two women who are very aware of the power of hilarity are NYC comedy duo Sorry About Last Night. Krystyna Hutchinson and Corinne Fisher are the women behind ‘anti-slut-shaming podcast’ Guys We Fucked. In each episode, they discuss their desires in spectacularly crude terms, as well as mental health, abuse and, of course, the question on everyone’s lips: "How vivacious is one's vulva"?

By contextualising the notches on their bedposts and highlighting topics that often fail to enter the public sphere, Sorry About Last Night want to clear up the murkiness surrounding conversations about sex. And the ever-growing popularity of the podcast shows that it's come at exactly the right time. With a US president whose lexicon includes the throwaway phrase “grab them by the pussy", this kind of alternative media – created by women, for women – is needed more than ever.

Hot off the back of the podcast’s third anniversary, we tapped up the whisky-sipping, cigar-puffing duo in the middle of their live tour.
Advertisement
For those who may not be familiar, can you give us a little context on how Guys We Fucked was born?

Corinne: The impetus for Guys We Fucked was a one-year breakdown after I was dumped in a Panera Bread [a US bakery chain]. I felt like I possibly just sucked as a girlfriend and was interested in getting feedback via past loves and fucks, kind of like John Cusack in High Fidelity. I pitched to Krystyna, who was already my comedy partner, and she expanded it into the anti-slut-shaming podcast which allowed us to speak more broadly about our experiences as women. The show has obviously evolved since then, mostly due to emails from listeners about everything sexual under the sun.

Krystyna: When Corinne texted me a few years ago, suggesting we go back into our past and talk to guys we fucked for a podcast, I was on board. My initial excitement (and nervousness) was over the idea of contacting the guys I've dated/slept with that I hadn't spoken to in a while. Reaching out to former partners feels waaaay less creepy when you have the excuse of a podcast centred around those exact conversations. As the podcast morphed into something bigger, we realised that most people carry some sense of sexual shame on their shoulders. The focus shifted to addressing issues that don't get talked about enough, like rape and the stigma that follows around victims of sexual abuse.

The anti-slut-shaming tagline for Guys We Fucked was the thing that grabbed my attention – where did it come from?

K: Being a woman comes with a lot of bullshit baggage. It took me a long time to realise that being whistled at or called out on the street for having tits by a guy my dad's age (or any age) is not okay. It always angered me, but it never occurred to me that it shouldn't happen until my early 20s. Corinne and I wanted to talk about slut-shaming because we've both experienced the double standard over our sexuality. For me, the goal wasn't to make other people feel better by airing my stories out but when I realised that oversharing lifts other people's shame, we made it a point to be overly honest.
Advertisement

At this point, we get at least one or two emails a day from someone who was sexually assaulted


Why do you think it's become more political over the years?

C: It was after we continued to get emails about people who were wronged sexually who just never saw justice. We feel we've been lucky enough to be given this wonderful platform, so why not use it for dick jokes AND progress?

K: I was so flattered that listeners wanted our advice. The problems started off simple but, as the podcast started morphing into something more meaningful, so did the letters. At this point, we get at least one or two emails a day from someone who was sexually assaulted. I had no fucking idea how common sexual assault is and I am reminded of it every day in our inbox. What started off as fury over this realisation has morphed into a passion to talk about this shit as much as I possibly can so that the population can be more self-aware citizens.

From Trump to Paul Ryan and the defunding of Planned Parenthood, do you feel a responsibility to talk about this stuff?

K: I absolutely feel the need to talk about these topics, not out of obligation or responsibility, but out of passion. Every time I read a headline about a person without a vagina diligently working to take away rights from people with vaginas, I want to fucking scream. There is no reason you can give me that justifies taking away a woman's right to choose what to do with her own body. I want to make sure I can keep as many people as possible in the loop with this shit, because being an active citizen is something I want to encourage as often as I can. Get informed. Get angry. Get off your ass and take action.

How did you find approaching sensitive topics of rape, abuse and genital mutilation?

C: We approached it the same way we approach everything – with honesty. I feel like these things never get talked about because people don't know how to talk about them, but the truth is there's no right or wrong way. The only mistake you can make is not talking about them, that's how they continue to happen.

K: Our mindset before every interview is always the same, whether the guest is about to discuss something traumatic like rape, or something light-hearted like that time you fucked a magician. If you approach people with a sense of honesty and curiosity, I find that the conversation is always going to be engaging.

Every time I read a headline about a person without a vagina diligently working to take away rights from people with vaginas, I want to fucking scream.


How do you feel you've contributed to the dialogue of diversity?

K: I think we've contributed a unique blend of honesty and humour, including being upfront about all the shit we're clueless about (which is a lot). It's important for us to talk about topics we're unfamiliar with, but it’s equally important to have discussions with guests that can speak from experience. After the Pulse nightclub shooting in Orlando, we wanted to open that week's episode by handing the microphone over to our friends in the LGBTQIA community and the first 20 minutes consisted of comedians and friends talking about what pride means to them. We've talked about Black Lives Matter a bunch on the podcast because I got real fed up seeing white people label BLM as a hate group. However, listening to a bunch of white people commenting on black issues is not productive and I try to save those discussions for when we have a guest who can speak to them.

From Amber Rose to Artie Lange, who has been your favourite so far?

C:
It would be impossible to pick a favourite guest so I'll pick the guest who opened up my mind to new ways of thinking and that is of course Jon Ronson. Honestly, a day doesn't go by when I don't ask myself, 'What would Jon Ronson do?' He's the cat's meow.

So the podcast is also cathartic for you?

C:
That was the whole point to begin with, for me, certainly. It was a kind of alternative therapy I set up for myself where I was letting my past boyfriends and sex partners be a revolving door of therapists for me.

K: Honestly, I've always been an open book and now, I'm an open book in front of a microphone. I can't not talk about things that are on my mind, it's not natural for me to hold back. When people started calling us bold for sharing what we share, that's when I realised that not many people are this open and honest. It is cathartic, yes, but it's also the way I've always operated.

How have the listeners contributed to the show?


C: We incorporated listener mail early on simply because we thought, 'Well, if one person has this problem... a lot of other people probably have it, too'. Our inbox certainly inspires us to research certain topics and helps us to see situations through the eyes of other genders, races, and sexual orientations.

K: Oh man, the listeners are a huge part of the show now. I tend to browse our inbox late at night and I feel like it gives me a sense of what the world is going through. For example, rape and molestation is a much larger problem than either of us ever realised. I can't believe how many emails we get on those two subjects every day.
Advertisement