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How To (Fake) A Grown Up Flat

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    There’s actually something horrible about having too clean or nice a flat – something quite fundamentally saddening about perfectly arranged bedrooms with cushions ordered by size.
    Messiness is often more than laziness; it’s the result of being very busy or very hungover, meaning that, if your room is messy, your life is probably quite fun.

    But. Being tidy can be important for several reasons. Over time you will come to be repulsed by the damp, musty smell of your carpet which you haven’t hoovered for… ever? (though you do routinely knock a full glass of water over). Then, one winter's morning, after a fitful sleep, you will wake up to realise you need a third duvet to keep you company and, while searching for one in the bags shoved under your bed, you will unearth an array of several ex-partners’ unwashed clothing that you held on to for “the comforting smell”. You will momentarily feel like a serial killer, a horror compounded by the hair and dust now stuck to your tights from crouching on the floor.

    Your life is a mess, and your room is just as bad. Time to get a grip. Manically tidy and arrange your flat to block out the rising hysterical panic in your chest and make you feel like you're in control of your life. Here are some quick fixes to help make your flat seem like you have it all in order.


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