What I Learned About Sex From Working As A Porn Reviewer

Illustrated by Abbie Winters.
About a decade ago, I was one of the token female porn reviewers for the Adult Video Network (AVN.com). I also wrote children’s books. You can probably guess which gig paid better — and which one required me to use a pseudonym. I relished the opportunity to watch dozens of new videos each month on someone else’s dime. My masturbatory habits were always sated. Plus, it added a fun twist to my relationship.

In my role as reviewer, I learned to describe every position — from missionary to reverse cowgirl — in a myriad of creative ways. I got to know the actors’ between-the-sheets styles and skill sets; not all sexual activity is created equal. And I haven’t been able to look at a cash machine without thinking “ass to mouth” ever since. Sure, I fast-forwarded through many slow moments, but I still learned a lot about sex from porn. Here are my seven biggest takeaways.