What NYC resident doesn't have moments when they wonder if life would be better if they just gave it all up and moved? No, seriously: Why do we confine ourselves to a city that adamantly hates us? Whose subway system can't handle the slightest bit of rain? Where rent for a closet costs more than other states' entire apartments? These are the thoughts that plague Abbi and Ilana in tonight's episode of Broad City, "Florida." Fran Drescher guest stars as Ilana's Aunt Bev, and Ilana Glazer's real life brother Elliot is back, it's the real-life Ilana Glazer's directorial debut, and they even mention Refinery29! It's a perfect episode, so let's get started.
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Despite the Florida humidity ruining their hair and the airline losing Elliot's luggage, the gang (Abbi, Ilana, her mom Sandi, and her brother) is in relatively good spirits for people who have arrived at a retirement community named Darlington Lakes to go through the things of their late grandmother. Tension arises, however, when Sandi and Aunt Bev start immediately bickering about who gets what. Specifically, the ring.
"Mommy would want me to have it," Aunt Bev says, sliding it onto her finger. "It's probably the only engagement ring I'm ever going to have." However, Sandi argues that it should go to one of her children. Speaking of, they're busy enjoying this sunshine, relaxing by the pool and drinking in everything that Florida has to offer.
"Man this place is so magical," Ilana says as they wander through the retirement community. "It's got everything! Sunshine, warmth, greenery." Plus, as Abbi puts it, real fruit that "hasn't already been licked by a bodega cat."
You can probably sense where this is going, and to my fellow NYCers, it hits a little too close to home.
"That's what New York City is, one giant delayed orgasm," says Ilana. "Instead of enjoying it now we're just suffering through it so in 40 years we can say, 'We did that! We lived there!'"
Should we...move to Florida? Abbi and Ilana certainly think so after stumbling upon an open house that's going for literally $425. A month.
They'll take it — there's just one catch. Normally, you have to be over 55 to be a resident in Darlington Lakes, but if they can convince the rest of the tenants to vote for them at the next meeting, the house is theirs. Therefore, the women embark on flurry of argument mediating, gun-polishing, and...swing dancing?...in order to win over their soon-to-be neighbours.
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Elliot, on the other hand, is not enjoying Florida. He's been on hold with the airport the entire time in search of his lost baggage, getting transferred from one department to the next. To top it off, he's forced to comfort his stressed-out mother, who requires him to "thump" her to help relieve the pain in her neck.
All of this hard work hasn't dissuaded Abbi and Ilana, but one thing might: Florida is a state that voted for Trump. But before that can sink in, Ilana is sent a picture of her frozen, damaged NYC apartment (a pipe burst thanks to the cold) (again) and the two realise they can never go back. And who knows! Maybe their votes would swing the state?
One "Formation"-inspired montage later, and they've been approved for their apartment, but just as soon as they start celebrating, they find out the real reason they've been picked: Darlington Lakes would rather have "two Jewish dykes" than accept the competing tenants, who are Black. This is one step too far for the NYC natives.
"New York City may be rough but at least it's not a white supremacist's wet dream," Ilana and Abbi cry while smoking weed. "Get me back to New York where everybody hates Donald Trump and Mike Pence."
But not before the entire family gets in on the marijuana, kicking off a That 70s Show-style sequence that ends up dissolving all the tension this trip had wrought. And fun fact: Sandi saw that Lincoln changed his Facebook status to single. Ilana brushes it off in the moment, but after she and Abbi jump back in the car and head home, his apartment is their first stop.
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In a gesture that I think (?) was meant to be romantic, Lincoln finds Ilana on his stoop inside a suitcase.
"I'm not even gonna ask about the mechanics of what just happened," he says, inviting her inside — but we'll have to wait until next week to see how that all shakes out.