While most stories from Humans of New York are inspiring, heartfelt, poignant, or some combination of the three, this is not one of them.
Last week, the HONY Instagram account posted an image and accompanying story of a man dealing with a possible deal-breaker in his relationship — the deal-breaker being that he couldn't get past his girlfriend's weight.
"At first I told myself I could get past it," he said. "I said, 'Let’s just see how it goes.'"
To be clear, there was nothing else "wrong" with this woman — he says so himself.
"We had excellent dates," he said. "Everything else about her was exactly what I wanted. I didn’t want to ruin something good for that one little reason."
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But one-and-a-half years later, he still can't bring himself to get over it.
"It’s been 1.5 years," he said. "And I feel horrible, but I just can’t get past it. And I feel like a bad person for being bothered by it."
Despite being so bothered by it, however, he says he can't bring himself to tell her, and is worried he won't even be able to bring it up during a scheduled couple's therapy session the following week.
"Is there any right way to ask someone to lose weight for you?" he asked.
The short answer? No.
For one thing, his girlfriend's body is hers and hers alone, and she shouldn't have to lose weight for anyone. And while some comments on that Instagram post bring up the issue of wanting a "healthy" partner, this man never brings up his girlfriend's health as a concern. Plus, you can't tell how healthy someone is by looking at them.
While we don't know this woman, we're betting she deserves better than someone who thinks she's great — minus this one thing (that one thing being her entire body). Sure, everyone has personal preferences and "types" when it comes to dating, but if her weight is so much of a deal-breaker that it bothers him a year-and-a-half into the relationship, that sounds like his problem, not hers.
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