The No-B.S. Beauty Advice We Actually Text Our Friends

Illustrated by Louisa Cannell.
We're all guilty of trying to get the most out of a dinner party guest with an interesting job. Who hasn't asked the stock broker where they're secretly putting their money? Or spilled their messy breakup story to the therapist in the bathroom after a bottle of wine? As beauty editors who serve as on-call dermatologists, hairstylists, and makeup artists (anything that ends in "-ist," really) to our friends, family members, and postman, we get it — and we love it.
"Can I use this Victoria's Secret body lotion from middle school that I found in my childhood home?" "Why isn't this toothpaste treating my pimple?" "How do I unclog my shower drain after using a coffee body scrub?" We've heard it all. Ahead, some of the beauty-related text messages we've gotten recently from our contacts outside the industry. It's a hard job, but somebody's gotta do it.