Grab those tinfoil hats, because things are about to get deliciously weird.
Eater has discovered a conspiracy theory so delightful, you'll want to gobble the whole thing up. Apparently, a journalist for NewsHub in New Zealand gathered evidence that would appear to indicate that Lorde, 20-year-old singing phenomenon and professional "dance like no one's watching" advocate, is running an Instagram page that posts reviews of the world's onion ring offerings.
The account in question, @onionringsworldwide, has since been deleted, suspiciously after the journalist, Anna Bracewall-Worrall, contacted Lorde's management team for comment.
Think it's too good to be true? Check out some of the evidence Bracewell-Worrall compiled:
1. The account only had 24 followers before its disappearance, and one of those followers was, wait for it...LORDE! As a fan told Bracewell-Worrall, some of the other followers included the musician's pals.
2. Each of the reviews just happened to be in or near places that were along Lorde's recent performance route — from Sydney to New York. Don't believe me? Please refer to Bracewell-Worrall's investigative report, which features supporting tweets and maps.
3. Bracewell-Worrall goes straight for the writing style and points out that not only does the mystery poster use "u" in words like "flavour," but that the person also writes with an eloquence only practiced by one of music's brightest minds.
4. Now, this one sounds weird, but hear Bracewell-Worrall out. The fingers holding the deep-fried snacks are eerily similar to Lorde's own digits, from the shortness of the nails to the tiny size of the hands, which can be seen in the below Instagram post. (Go ahead, insert a Trump joke here. You've earned it for making it this far.)
Can we say for certain that Lorde is behind the account? No. But, my god, a resurgence of @onionringsworldwide could be the hope that this world needs.