What People Really Think About When They Masturbate

Photographed by Aslan Eylul.
While we probably all have different masturbation styles, it turns out that a lot of us are thinking about the same things while we masturbate. According to a new survey from sex toy retailer Lovehoney, there are actually a few common masturbation fantasies.
In a survey of over 4,500 people, the retailer found that a majority of men and women fantasise about their current partner while masturbating. According to data shared with Refinery29, 69% of men and 60% of women surveyed said that they often fantasised about sexual situations involving their current partner.
The next most common fantasy, however, involved former partners — even for respondents were in a new relationship. 58% of men reported fantasising about sexual situations involving a former partner, while 48% of women reported doing the same.
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Of course, these fantasies don't necessarily mean that you don't love your current partner — nor do any fantasies that have to do with anything other than your partner.
"Fantasies allow monogamous couples to get all the pleasure of 'new' sex without the pain of broken hearts and relationship," Tracey Cox, international sex and relationships expert, said in a statement provided to Refinery29. "Most people have the odd struggle balancing the pros of monogamy (history, soul mate connection, love, comfort, kids, support) with the cons (having to say no to temptation just because you’re in love doesn’t mean you don’t find others attractive). A rich fantasy life can offer the solution to keeping everyone happy."
Next in the list of the 5 top masturbation fantasies? Online porn or erotica, sexual situations involving roleplay, and sexual situations involving BDSM. Interestingly, however, BDSM was a more common fantasy amongst women (34%) than it was for men (30%).
The survey also found that 59% of men and 51% of women masturbate regularly, even when in a relationship — and that's definitely a good thing.
"Masturbation is good for you — it cheers most of us up and it can enhance the sex you enjoy in a relationship," Richard Longhurst, Lovehoney co-owner, said in a statement to Refinery29. "There are also lots of health benefits such as the relief of stress."
Longhurst is right: masturbation has been shown to ease stress, reduce pain, and even make menstrual cramps more manageable. So go ahead and indulge in your fantasies — and maybe even pledge to pleasure yourself for charity's sake.
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