How An Old Dress Helped A Food Stylist Reflect On Her Past Eating Disorder

Though much of the narrative around women's clothing has to do with whether or not we fit into something, one Instagrammer is glad that she no longer fits into her old size 2 dress. While cleaning out her closet, food stylist Lucy Litman came upon an old dress that caused her to pause and reflect on the journey that she's been through since the last time she was able to fit into it.
Litman posted a photo of herself in the dress on her Instagram, writing, "here's a picture of me in my favourite dress from 3 years ago. It's a size 2 and doesn't even come close to zipping right now."
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closet cleaning reflections: here's a picture of me in my favorite dress from 3 years ago. It's a size 2 and doesn't even come close to zipping right now. Lately, I've been thinking a lot about my body image and health, after a "friend" told me that I've let myself go and should stop eating so much bread. I don't really talk about this much (or ever publicly) but I struggled with an eating disorder all throughout high school and college and was in and out of different therapies and centers. I used to weigh myself 5 times a day and the number I saw would dictate my happiness and the activities I "allowed" myself to do. This restriction on my own happiness and life ended a lot of friendships and relationships because I'd isolate myself at home so I didn't have to be around food. A lot of my work that I share here is inspired by this experience - food wasn't always a happy thing for me, and for many friends and family food still isn't fun - so I'm hoping to show a more playful side to what we eat and get people thinking about colors, shapes and textures instead of calories or how much exercise they'll have to do to burn it off. I'm happy to say that I now have the healthiest relationship with food I've ever had, but to all of you out there who are still struggling, know that you're more than a number and that having a thigh gap is irrelevant (and physically impossible for some people's bone structure), but most importantly that you are not alone and are loved πŸ’•

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Litman wrote that since someone she believed was her friend recently told her that she had "let [herself] go," and that she "should stop eating so much bread," she's been thinking a lot about her body image and health.
"I don't really talk about this much (or ever publicly) but I struggled with an eating disorder all throughout high school and college and was in and out of different therapies and centers," she wrote. "I used to weigh myself 5 times a day and the number I saw would dictate my happiness and the activities I 'allowed' myself to do."
Litman opened up about the effect that her eating disorder had on her mental health and her personal relationships, writing that she would isolate herself at home so that she wouldn't be around food.
Though Litman works with food as a profession now, she wrote, food hasn't always been a positive thing for her.
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"A lot of my work that I share here is inspired by this experience - food wasn't always a happy thing for me, and for many friends and family food still isn't fun - so I'm hoping to show a more playful side to what we eat and get people thinking about colors, shapes and textures instead of calories or how much exercise they'll have to do to burn it off," she wrote.
According to the National Eating Disorders Association, an estimated 20 million women and 10 million men in the U.S. will have an eating disorder at some point in their lives. Recovery can take months and even years, and won't always be a linear process β€” though that doesn't mean that the battle isn't worth it.
Now that she has a healthy relationship with food, she wrote, she wants to be there for others who may still be struggling.
"To all of you out there who are still struggling, know that you're more than a number and that having a thigh gap is irrelevant (and physically impossible for some people's bone structure), but most importantly that you are not alone and are loved," she wrote.
If you are struggling with an eating disorder, please call Beat on 0345 634 1414. Support and information is available 365 days a year.
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