Your Horoscope This Week

Illustrated by Alia Penner. Photographed by Jason Rodgers.
Clapbacks are a-coming this week, so think twice before spilling any of that piping hot tea. From Monday until March 31, sharp-tongued Mercury jackknifes through fierce Aries, turning us all into firecrackers. Statement sneakers will wind up in mouths — and said mouths will write cheques that asses can't cash. To avoid falling into this quicksand, think (and think again) before blurting, tweeting, texting, or firing off what might soon become an alternative fact. The first response may be the truest response, but could it be worded a little more, erm, diplomatically? And Mercury in Aries can rouse our argumentative sides. People who are normally too shy to share their opinions will be handed a cosmic cup of courage. Now this we would like to hear! Some savvy and spirited debates could get everyone thinking.
Thought you'd just go with the flow this weekend? Sorry, not happening. On Friday, the easy, breezy Pisces sun gets checked by strict Saturn, insisting that we make — and keep — our plans and promises. Think twice before you bail on a good friend who you promised to meet for that panel at SXSW or help move into her new apartment. If you're tired or PMS-y — or enthralled by a shockingly good Tinder date — at least make an appearance. Nurture those loyal bonds because they will be your anchor in the days to come.