PLEASE READ: 👉🏼The difference between this photos isn't my level of happiness or contentment with myself. Or what measure of beauty I relate/d to (FYI I thought I was hot shit on the left)💁🏼. It's not my confidence. Or the affection I feel for myself. ✨The ONLY thing different is a number of inches, some discipline, and time. ✨If you don't believe you are worthy of love at 225 lbs, you won't grasp it 70lbs later. It won't matter if you see your ideal body in the mirror, your confidence doesn't come from smaller sized yoga pants...it has to be soul-deep. And it has to be foundational to be transformational. 👋🏼 You don't need to have rock solid abs, or free-flowing air between your thighs, or a marathon under your belt to find your value. It exists within you ALREADY, my dear. Dig deep and find it. 👌🏼 Shed what culture tells you is perfection. Screw the fear of not fitting the mold. Fuck the revenge body. You do it for you. With love, first. 👊🏽 #bebetter #transformationmonday? #fuckyourbeautystandards
In an essay for Well + Good, Alexander wrote that she started her fitness journey at 22 years old, "when I was 225 pounds and wearing a size 16."
"That was the most I ever weighed — and it’s also the most self-confident I ever was," she wrote. "I laugh because I used to look in the mirror and think, 'Damn girl, you’re so fly right now.'"
But after making a bet with a male friend, she says, Alexander began losing weight by maintaining a strict diet and following an intense fitness regime.
"Every day, my clothes got looser, the compliments about my looks became more frequent, and my pride grew," she wrote. But those compliments came with a catch: she also began to use people's compliments as a measuring stick for her worthiness.
"When I reached what I thought was my goal, I suddenly realised: I was the least confident I’d ever been," she wrote. "I was stuck in a cycle of cravings for affirmation, admiration, and progress. Rinse and repeat."
Alexander then resolved to get back to "that girl who looked in the mirror and saw a person, not progress." She realised, she wrote, it wasn't about what her body looked like or how much she weighed, but about changing her relationship with her body.
"I stopped obsessing over the number stitched on the tag of my pants," she wrote. "Or how I compared with everyone else, both on social media and in life. I put away the food scale. I let myself have that extra glass of wine...and here I am. Not my leanest or most athletic — but so damn joyful."
What's more, she wants others to know that no matter what you look like or what you weigh, what matters most is that you never forget your worth.
"Eat food that makes your body work at its best, but sometimes, you’re gonna need to go elbows-deep into the pizza," she wrote.