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New Hangover-Free Alcohol Will Change Your Life

Illustration by Assa Ariyoshi.
How many times have you woken up with a disgusting hangover after a heavy night and vowed to never drink again? Well this common plight could soon be a thing of the past, thanks to a new type of synthetic alcohol that has been discovered. Alcosynth, the new drink, is non-toxic and designed to create the same positive effects of alcohol, but without the debilitating morning-after symptoms. No more nausea, throbbing heads or dry mouths. The drink was created by Professor David Nutt, from Imperial College London, who used to advise the government on drugs policy. He has patented around 90 alcosynth compounds, two of which are currently being tested for widespread use, he told The Independent. Nutt even said he hopes alcosynth will completely replace alcohol by 2050 – within most of our lifetimes. Alcosynth's effects last for the same length of time as normal alcohol, but Nutt said it would be impossible to feel drunker than the feeling of having drunk four or five alcoholic drinks. "People want healthier drinks," said Nutt. “The drinks industry knows that by 2050 alcohol will be gone." He said the drinks industry has "been planning for this for at least 10 years. But they don't want to rush into it, because they're making so much money from conventional alcohol.” As well as being hangover-free, drinking synthetic alcohol also removes the risk of liver and heart damage. “It will be there alongside the scotch and the gin, they'll dispense the alcosynth into your cocktail and then you'll have the pleasure without damaging your liver and your heart,” Nutt told The Independent. “They go very nicely into mojitos. They even go into something as clear as a Tom Collins. One is pretty tasteless, the other has a bitter taste," he added. The specific formulas of the new drinks remain secret. Nutt and his team created them by researching substances that have a similar impact on the brain to alcohol. “We know a lot about the brain science of alcohol; it's become very well understood in the last 30 years,” Nutt said. “So we know where the good effects of alcohol are mediated in the brain, and can mimic them. And by not touching the bad areas, we don't have the bad effects.” Unfortunately, it could be a while before we're able to order an alcosynth cocktail during happy hour, due to the cost of funding research into the drug and potential concerns over regulations. If or when alcosynth does become widely available, it could improve everyone's lives and transform public health. We can't wait.

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