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What It's Like To Identify As Heteroflexible

On the vast spectrum of sexuality, certain identities are more visible — and easier to understand — than others. One less-talked-about group is heteroflexible people, or those who consider themselves mostly straight, but find themselves interested in members of the same sex sometimes.

Unfortunately, heteroflexible people may feel uncomfortable coming out to their friends and loved ones because they worry that their identity will be misinterpreted as bisexual or gay. In reality, it's a unique, nuanced identity. Heteroflexible people feel attracted to members of the same sex only in specific circumstances, with the "right" person. But that's not always so simple to explain.

As one heteroflexible woman posted on Whisper recently: "Heteroflexible does not mean bicurious. Stop treating my sexuality like a joke."

No one should have to worry that his or her sexual identity will be conflated with another or denied. That's why sharing experiences with people who identify similarly can be so helpful; finding validation, support, or just a safe space can be invaluable to someone struggling with sexual identity. And for people who aren't heteroflexible, hearing stories like these can help them better understand this sexual identity so that they won't make any misguided comments to their heteroflexible friends.

Below, we've rounded up 19 stories about identifying as heteroflexible — from secret-sharing app Whisper.
I think I identify as "heteroflexible." It may not be a legit sexuality to
some people but its the most comfortable term for me.