This article was originally published on December 11, 2015.
Most people who are in monogamous relationships — and who have a healthy understanding of the rules and responsibilities that come with them — don’t wake up one morning and think, Today, I’m going to cheat on my partner. (At least, we hope they don't.) But even people in good relationships stray. In fact, an estimated 60% of married men and 45% of married women admit to infidelity. And a theme among many of the unfaithful is that they never thought they would be that person.
“The truth is that infidelity doesn’t just happen,” says Mira Kirshenbaum, clinical director of the Chestnut Hill Institute and author of I Love You, But I Don’t Trust You. “An affair is almost always the result of a slow-building storm of unmet needs, resentments and hurts — all of which eventually lead you into the arms of another.”
Of course, monogamy isn’t for everyone. But if it’s the route you want to go, watch for these signs to determine if you’re at risk for cheating. (And if you are, don't panic — but do check yourself and prioritise honest, open communication with your partner.)