The Blessed Kimye Child Has A Name

Praise be, for it is the holiest of seasons. No, 'tis not Christmas yet. But on December 5, we welcomed another #blessed child into the world. Kim Kardashian and Kanye West welcomed their second spawn. A son! A bouncing baby boy has arrived to carry on the West family legacy. But the name...what of the name? Their first child is called North. No middle name, just North. Like the North Star, the guiding light that leads many a traveler home. Surely the Wests have something even more powerful in store for the heir to the throne. Saint! Saint West shall be his name. Just like his sister, there shall be no middle name marring the perfect, one-syllable harmony of his first and last name. This announcement comes straight from the source herself, Saint's mother Kim Kardashian West. She posted the news on her website along with Saint's birthday and birth weight (8 pounds, 1 ounce). Saint the savior is born! (This post is entirely satirical, save for the news about Saint West's name. That is very much true and factual.)